	Wait... you actually INVITED her over? Irine sounded incredulous. Ezra had gone to the corner store to buy some fizzy drinks for when Dana arrived, and Marco had begun baking some shortbread cookies for them to all nibble on when Irine had marched into the kitchen and asked what was going on.

	What's so wrong about that? asked Marco as he placed the tray of cookies into the oven to bake.

	Wh... what's so wrong?! she sputtered, poking Marco in the shoulder, You haven't heard a word from her in five years and you just ASSUME she's still the same girl you knew? What if all she wants is to pick one of you up for herself?

	Marco grinned cheekily and leaned against the kitchen wall, eyebrow raised. Well, well... look who's panicking here? Are you trying to keep the BIG BAD shark from getting between me and my stud?

	Irine's face warped into an expression of distaste. Maybe, she grunted, The point is, you JUST got married! The last thing that you need is for some girl to come in and swoop your 'stud' off his feet and leave you heartbroken in the corner!	

	Irine, calm your waters. Dana's a nice girl, alright? She sounded just as pleasant over the phone as she did five years ago, so why not just join us and meet her? The two of you'd probably get along.

	And turn this stupid threesome into a FOURsome? spat Irine, No thanks. I'm going to my room... Try not to let her get you all wet.

	Marco watched Irine march down the hall and up the stairs in amused disappointment. She claimed to be looking out for him and Ezra, but he knew better  she was scared of fish due to her fear of water. Marco didn't understand her phobia, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with the connection that fish typically had with water. He'd hoped she'd get over it long enough to say hi and meet someone he knew she'd find friendly, but apparently it was too much to ask.

	Ezra opened the front door, having returned from the store with some cola and lemonade, just as Irine slammed her bedroom door behind her. He came into the kitchen and looked quizzically at Marco.

	What's wrong with that sister of yours? he asked.

	She's just snippy at me for inviting Dana over, replied Marco dismissively, Her fish phobia's kicked in.

	Ah, I'd forgotten about that, said Ezra after a pause, Maybe we should call Dana back and get her to go to my place instead?

	What, and indulge a phobia that makes no sense? I'm sure Irine'll survive a few hours of us catching up with an old friend, don't you think?

	I guess... said Ezra as he turned to put the fizzy drinks onto the kitchen bench.

	So now we just wait for Dana to show up! said Marco happily, slapping Ezra on the rump affectionately.

	Hands to yourself, hun. I'm sure what Dana wants to see when she meets us for the first time in years is what we look like when we get frisky.

		*****

	No more than ten minutes later, an expensive-looking black car parked on the side of the road in front of the house, as Marco found out via Irine shouting it down the stairs on her way back to her room from the bathroom.

	Marco and Ezra made it outside in time to see Dana leaning on the gate in wait, smiling at them. Her little gold nose ring glinted in the sunlight and her wide grin was splitting her pointed snout and exposed many of her pointed teeth. It would've looked terrifying, if not for the happiness in her friendly, strikingly green eyes.

	Good afternoon, boys, she beamed, Long time no see, eh?

	Dana, dear! exclaimed Marco, opening his arms in a long-distance hug, Pop the gate and come in! We've got nibbles and drinks set up on the picnic table out back!

	I'll be right in.

	As she stood up to open the gate and walk in, the boys realised just how much Dana had grown in the past five years. Ezra wasn't short, at six foot five inches, and even he could tell that despite her high-heels making her even taller, the elegant lady before them stood at least another foot and a half taller than him. Her bronze back and brown spots shone in the sunlight and the long black dress she was wearing tastefully hid the majority of her white underbelly. She was obviously well-endowed in the chest, managing to make both of the newly-wed boys double-take in surprise appreciation before averting their gaze. Crikey, she was hot enough to make gay guys like her!

	I saw that, loverbirds, she said with a wink and toothy grin, Keep your eyes on each other; I wouldn't want to make either of you jealous.

	Ezra and Marco moved forward to hug her in greeting. She was considerate enough of their shorter heights that she bent down slightly so they wouldn't get a face-full of bosom.

	You have no idea how happy I am to see you two again! she said as she tagged along beside them, I tried finding you online, but I couldn't find either of you on any social website I could think of... It's why I never tried contacting you.

	Whatever happened to your phone? asked Ezra.

	By the time I'd got it set up to allow international calls, I'd forgotten your phone numbers... My first few months in the UK were a bit of a mess.

	They'd arrived at the picnic table set up in the yard, and the three friends sat down, husbands on one side and Dana on the other. Marco poured lemonade into waiting glasses, and Dana raised her glass in a toast.

	Here's to seeing old friends, she said warmly, and feeling as though it's only been a few days rather than years.

	To old friends, chorused the boys, clinking their glasses with hers.

	Dana downed her entire glass in one gulp and sighed contently. Ah... Thank you, I needed something to help cool off, she leaned forward and clasped her hands, flicking her gaze between Marco and Ezra, So, spill the beans. You had me pegged as a couple of straight fellows... How in the world did two handsome eligible bachelors end up falling for and marrying each other?

	A year ago our parents were out of town and we thought playing video games together would be a bit more fun than sitting at our respective homes alone, said Marco. He then wrapped his tail affectionately around Ezra's waist and rested it in the stallion's lap, Then Mr. Genius here realised the spare bed was locked in a cupboard we couldn't get to.

	Ever heard of sleeping on the couch? Dana raised a brow.

	You haven't seen the couch in the lounge at my place, said Ezra, It's a tiny wee thing no sane person would sleep on... two people can barely SIT on it. At any rate, we had to share my bed.

	I'm guessing you both considered that an awkward predicament.
	You have no idea. After trying to ignore it all night, I ended up suggesting to Marco that we watch some... adults only stuff. You know, to avoid poking each other in the middle of the night.

	Prodding groins does sound even more awkward than sharing a bed, yes.

	His suggestion threw my mind into a panic, said Marco, So much so that I managed to let slip the fact that I don't have boy parts.

	THAT got Dana's attention. She couldn't help but use her extra height to crane over and glance curiously at Marco's crotch. Come again? she queried awkwardly.

	You're the first person I've just straight up told like that, said Marco, beginning to blush, But, you wanted to know how we fell in love, and that's the key point. After that, we kept one-upping each other. To repay me for spilling my secret, Ezra took his top off. To repay him for that, I took off mine and so on and so forth until we were naked and on top of each other.

	I see, Dana looked a little glazed over from the revelation that Marco apparently had girlie bits, mentally battling over whether she believed him or not. There was a lengthy pause.

	Earth to Dana? said Marco, waving his hand in front of her face. She quickly shook her head to clear it and her gaze focused back onto him.

	Sorry, she said, I'm just trying to figure out if I believe you and if I do, how you work.

	Look, do you want to see it? I can trust you won't throw up in alarm or anything, right?

	I don't know if... Dana's voice said no, but her longing eyes and deepening blush said yes. Marco stretched out the waistbands of his pants and underwear, and she hesitantly peeked in at his most intimite of places.

	Oh, GOD, that's hot! she blurted out, slapping her hands over her mouth, quickly averting her gaze and biting her finger in embarrassment. After a moment to compose herself, blush deepening all the while, she looked back apologetically at Marco. I'm so... SO sorry, Marco! I didn't mean to say that.

	It's okay, Dana, replied Marco, letting his clothing slap back against him, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

	No, no... it was my silly question that led to that, she took a few deep breaths with her eyes closed, then returned her attention to her long-lost friends. So... one secret for another. That's how this sort of thing works, doesn't it?

	You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, said Ezra, putting his hand on hers. She squeezed it affectionately and gave him a warm smile.

	No, I need to say it, for my sake, she released Ezra's hand and took another deep breath. The reason my friends all bailed on me before I left for overseas, is because I threw a farewell party for myself, invited all of my girl friends over, and just as the party was wrapping up, told them what I'm about to tell you. And before you feel hurt that I didn't invite you two, it's because I thought you'd be uncomfortable being the only guys in a room full of girls.

	We couldn't be hurt by that! said Ezra, Marco nodding agreement, We were oblivious to this party back then, we can't hold it against you now! 

	I appreciate it... Anyway, just as it was nearing midnight and I thought it was time to send everyone home so I could get some sleep before my flight the next morning, I told my friends  more to admit it to myself than to them  that I'm a lesbian. I... I haven't heard from any of those girls since then.

	Dana was choking up. Her lower lip was quivering and tears were threatening to run down her face. Marco took pity on the poor girl and stood up and rounded the table to give her a cuddle.

	Hey, there there, Dana, he said softly, stroking and patting her back as she let her tears flow and sobbed loudly into his shoulder, It's okay, we're still your friends, we're not going to judge you in the slightest... We couldn't even if we wanted to, what with being a couple of guys married to each other ourselves.

	And we still remember how you were back then, added Ezra, Funny, kind, and oodles of fun. There shouldn't be any reason for your friends to have ditched such a pleasant young lady like that, so they're just a bunch of miserable, useless old cunts, aren't they?

	Dana's teary eyes turned to Ezra from across the table, a small, thankful smile managing to break through her sobs.

	Why aren't you over here with your husband, giving me a feel-better hug? she choked, a hearty dose of cheerful mockery sneaking through her sadness.

	You know me, I'm just naturally lazy, replied Ezra, making a show of leaning back and stretching with a yawn.

	It wasn't the most amusing thing he'd ever said, but it was apparently what Dana needed to hear. Her miserable sobs turned into uncontrollable laughter, her crying into Marco's shoulder turning into bawls of joy that shook the pair of them. Marco gave his husband a subtle thumbs up and wink. 'Good job,' it said. Eventually, she had enough control over herself to straighten up, grinning from ear to ear, gasping her laughter away and wiping the tears from her face.

	Oh, thank you for that, Ezra, she chuckled, You always knew just what to say to cheer me up!

	No worries, he replied, reaching across to give her hand another friendly squeeze, it sounded like you needed someone to say something stupid.

	I did. Well... okay, Marco, you can let go now. I'm feeling much better, she patted his back and gently untangled herself from his tight embrace.

	So, you're not into guys, eh? asked Marco as he resumed his seat beside Ezra, Were you able to snag some hot tail over in Britain?

	Dana shook her head. I tried a few dating websites, but all the cute lesbian chicks got scared whenever I sent them photos of myself. I don't think they expected a shark to have such a friendly disposition.

	Scared? Of you?

	Dana picked up one of the shortbread cookies and turned it absently in her fingers. I think it's the teeth, she said, I'm pretty sure they were imagining them near their hooches and it scared the living crap out of them. To illustrate her point she tossed the cookie into the air and chomped it down with her mouth open in one gulp, pointed teeth all on display and crumbs flying everywhere. She paused for a moment to savour the taste. Amazing shortbread, by the way, she added.

	Thanks, said Marco with a wink, I made them special.

	You put some of your lad's jizz in them, did you?

	NOT THAT KIND OF SPECIAL!! he backpedalled frantically, eyes wide with shocked surprise at her lewd joke.

	Calm yourself, sweetums, I was just teasing you, Dana poured herself another glass of lemonade and gulped it down. She'd ended up gazing up at the house as she drank and looked quizzically at an upper window.

	Who's our little spy up there? she asked, pointing with a finger from the hand holding the glass.

	Marco turned and looked where she had pointed. As soon as he met her eyes, Irine leaned back and out of sight. He rolled his eyes in annoyance at his sister's spying.

	That's just my sister, Irine, he said, turning back to Dana, The one you were talking to over the phone earlier.

	I see, I see, said Dana, stroking her chin thoughtfully.

	And before you ask if she's into you, she's scared of fish.
	The confused look Dana gave him made Marco laugh. Scared of fish? Whatever for? she asked.

	She hates water, he replied, Doesn't make much sense, does it? She hates water, so she hates fish. The only time she'll go near water is to either drink it or have a shower. And since fish come from the ocean and all that, she thinks they're evil.

	That is a bit curious, isn't it?

	She also claims she's straight... but due to an incident where she accidentally walked in on Ezra and me, I'm not so sure.

	She walked in on you two having at it? Crikey, that would've been awkward.

	While we're all spilling secrets to each other, said Ezra with a cheeky grin and sidelong glance at Marco, I might as well spill that story as well.

	The angry glare he got in response from his husband was all the motivation he needed to start telling his tale, Marco burying his face in his hands and groaning in horror.

		*****

	Irine had been sporatically switching between reading a bookby the window in her room and watching the conversation Ezra, Marco and that stupid Dana had been sharing out in the backyard. She had no idea what was being said  she couldn't hear much beyond the occasional laugh and that sobbing fit the shark had thrown herself into  but it didn't matter. Dana was stupid and her brother and brother in-law were stupid for talking to a stupid shark. 

	Sharks came from the water, and water was evil. That meant sharks were also evil. Despite Dana's obvious evilness, Irine couldn't fault her fashion sense. The black dress flowed quite stunningly over her bronze and white body, and her golden nose ring was surprisingly tasteful. She couldn't believe she was forced to admit that.

	She was scared for her brother and Ezra  that evil shark was obviously trying to steal the stallion away... couldn't they see it? With her crying and her laughing and her friendly eyes and... and her... her fins and her fishy tail with those great big... pointy fin thingies on the end of it. That shark was terrifying, and there they were, out there just chatting with the thing!

	As the afternoon passed following the group outside noticing she'd been watching, despite her best efforts, she found herself more intrigued by the conversation outside than her very good book. It sat neglected in her lap as she flicked her gaze between each of the folks outside. Why had her parents finally gone to bed after staying awake all night when they should be outside stopping this big fish from swooping Ezra away and leaving Marco heartbroken?

	This big, very cute fish, a tiny voice in the back of her mind whispered.

	She slapped herself for having the thought, but despite her angry fear, she couldn't stop her gaze from lingering on Dana the longest out of any of them.

	How did she not dry up in the sun? How come her body looked so moist and slippery despite the heat of the day? Why was that nose ring so cute? What was it about that sleek tail and pointed teeth that was making her think like this?

	'Irine Runil,' she mentally chastised herself, 'you are a straight woman, looking for a handsome man, not some scary woman demon of the deep!'

	Then Dana leaned forward onto the table, her head still fixed on Ezra as he was saying whatever stupid thing he was saying, and Irine got a glimpse of what massive melons that dress hid.

	The bronze of Dana's back came in like a collar along her shoulders and disappeared between her breasts, the white of her underbelly beginning in an outward arch halfway along the top of her ample bosoms. Suddenly, Irine's mind was overcome by a hauntingly gorgeous image of what they might look like exposed for all to see.

	Irine recoiled with such force from her unnatural thoughts that she fell out of the chair and lay on the floor in a panic. She shakily sat up and curled herself into a ball, rocking back and forth on her tail. She looked at the stud of a lizard that adorned her calendar, shirt unbuttoned and pose suggestive. She tried to do what she always did  picture those bold abs without the shirt on, imagine just what was lurking in that meaty bulge... but she found, to her horror, that she couldn't do it. All she could picture beneath that shirt was those luscious, bronzed breasts that she'd glimpsed down Dana's dress.

	Damn you, damn you, DAMN YOU, Dana! she whispered frantically to herself, her terrified gaze flicking to and from the discarded book lying upside down on the floor and the open window where she could hear the three idiots laughing heartily, You fucking evil fish, you... how DARE you make me start questioning who I am!